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Loosing Steam

On June 15, 2012, in It's a All About me, by elisabet

Do you ever feel like all the motivation and energy to just get stuff done is missing? I’m guessing that I might need to get my meds re-evaluated. I don’t think it’s normal to feel this way.

The remodel is slowly underway. Windows and doors have been ordered and we can start demoing some stuff. Maybe I’m feeling overwhelmed? I do have a lot going on these days. I don’t have any pictures to share yet. The big changes are about two weeks out.

The house is in disarray that has to be why I am feeling like I am lately. It makes total sense. I’ve been slowly chipping away at stuff. Got our bedroom cleaned, dresser reorganized, did some cable management under the computer desk and cleared off my craft table. Small wins. All together it amounts to big wins.

 

Life gets in the way. Seriously.

Between my course load and working full time, updating this blog became less important. Lots of things fell by the wayside over the past year. The year of forty has had it challenges. Its been a slow process but imagining a life with out children of my own has been heartbreaking. I’ve also realized that I am not like most people my age. I’m still a bit immature and my life is still disorganized. I go through phases, around family events I agonize over my inability to get pregnant, yet when we were thinking about going to Coachella I was thrilled to not be hindered by kids. Its a vicious cycle.

Next is the house. We live in the house that Courtney grew up in and while I love it, it was built in 1955 thus it comes with a bit of maintenance. Over the past three years we tackle one big expensive project each spring. This year was to get the ventilation reworked to make the house a bit cooler in the summer. Just as we were starting this happened:

We had always planned to remodel the kitchen but the plumbing pulled the trigger for us. The remodel has two phases. Phase one, new plumbing, remodel bathrooms, replace kitchen ceiling and lighting. All that has been completed. We decided to try to get the mortgage refinanced to a lower rate and that is what is holding up the next phase. We’re learning a lot about home remodeling through this process, so far it’s not too horrible.

More pictures to come.

 

Moving along

On September 9, 2011, in It's a All About me, by elisabet

Turning forty wasn’t so bad. We celebrated with family and friends, just the way I like it, everyone in one place. I really do have some awesome people around me. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

Courtney and I went to North Carolina to visit my sister and her family. We also spent a few days in my hometown, hanging out at the Apple Festival and visiting my mommy. There was lots of grits and biscuits eaten. I’ve been home for three days and I’m still not hungry! It was a good visit. I don’t talk much about it on here but it’s always hard to see my mommy. And now that she is seventy-one, with gray hair and in a wheelchair, it so much more difficult. You can barely understand her when she speaks because she has no teeth or dentures anymore. When I look into her eyes I catch little moments when I can see my mom in there, then I blink and she’s gone. I know she can’t articulate it but I get the sense that she is happy when we visit.

I had the rest of the week off from work. Kinda not looking forward to Monday. I haven’t checked in while on vacation and who knows what mess is waiting for me in my inbox. It’s going to take me a month just to catch up! I hate that. School is going well. History of Photography instructor is pissing me off already. It’s an online class and he wants active participation, meaning that he is actually grading us on our responses to other students posts. Which is fine but he has been a stickler for grammar and spelling, and I’m ok with that. What I’m not cool with is that it’s ok for him to make those mistakes. I’ve gotten a couple of emails where he omitted words and there is a misspelling in the syllabus! Seriously, if you’re going to ride my ass about that stuff, you need to follow your own rules dude!

It’s late and as you can tell I’ve been playing around with the blog design instead of sleeping. Courtney is going to be up in three hours and I should get some sleep. I’ve got a big morning planned, house chores and cleaning the garden. Good times!

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Eve of 40

On August 25, 2011, in It's a All About me, When Life Gets in the Way, by elisabet

Its be a while I know. I say this a lot but things just don’t seem like they’re going to slow down anytime soon. Uggggh!

Today is day one of a much needed vacation from work. I love the direction of where I’m going at work but I really needed a break. Time to recharge. I’m taking on more technical work at the office which has its good and bad to it. The good, I’m learning a TON and I’m being exposed to so many new opportunities. It’s all really exciting for a nerd like me. The bad, I work long hours and not that anyone asks that of me, I do it all on my own. My OCD kicks into gear and I have to have things perfect before I can leave. I hate that part.

School started this week. I started out with just seven credit hours, two classes, but I added one more at the last minute. I’m going to be fifty before I finish my degree. I just want it over already. So far it doesn’t seem like it’s going to be too rough, lots of reading though. I think Biology is going to be a bit rough but the other two classes are a bit easier. I say this now, watch I’ll be crying over it in two weeks.

So tomorrow is the big day. 4 – 0. I think I’m gonna sleep all day.

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Lightbulb

On July 24, 2011, in It's a All About me, by elisabet

My therapist pointed something out to me in our last visit, my ability to mother extends far beyond my family. It made me think, maybe this is my path in life? My family and friends need me, not all the time but when they do, they really need my help. It makes sense. I’m about to do something for a friend and keeping it to myself has been the worst. It’s nothing terrible, but it is something that is completely unexpected. My friend will be totally surprised. And that where I find my greatest happiness, taking care of the ones I love most.

I met with an academic advisor this past week to map out my course load. I have fourteen more classes to finish before I even transfer to ASU where I will finish my Computer Science degree. CRIPES! I can really only take two, maybe three courses a semester which means that I will be fifty by the time I finish. It seems so daunting, so unattainable. But that’s OK because no one ever asks how long you’ve had your degree, they just want you to have one.

I do want to say that my heart goes out to the people of Norway.

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