I’ve been sitting on this bit of news for a while, trying not to jinx myself. In Early November we found out that I was pregnant. It was just a fluke that I even thought to do a pregnancy test to begin with. This time we didn’t tell anyone with the exception of my BFF’s Dayle and Brian, because I can’t hold anything back from them. You hear all the superstitions that you shouldn’t announce a pregnancy until you’re past the first trimester so we thought we would go that route this time. It killed me to not tell my two sister-in-law’s and my sister. I was just so excited and wanted to share with everyone.

The first few weeks of pregnancy you don’t really have any symptoms so it’s easy to not think about it. When I got to week five I started to feel very tired and a little sick in the afternoons. I started to experience some very light spotting so I call my doc and she setup an appointment for an ultrasound. That was last Wednesday. Everything looked good, you could see the gestational and yolk sac, which was more than what they could see last time, everything was where it should be for five weeks along. My doc asked me to come in on Friday to have my hormone levels checked to make sure that they were doubling. On Monday, we found out that the pregnancy was not viable. Our hearts were completely crushed. It’s completely amazing to me how fast things can go down hill. Fourty-eight hours earlier everything was normal. Makes no sense to me.

The whole fact that we are able to get pregnant is something to be thankful for. We haven’t been preventing it for the past twelve years and had really thought that it was just not in our future. I know things happen for a reason and all, but I wish that reason would present itself already! This emotional roller coaster sucks the life out of you and this time of the year I need all the energy I can get. So we’re getting through it and we’re hopeful that we will be blessed with a baby when the time is right. We have so much to be thankful for and feel very fortunate to have great friends and family who support us.