Moving along

On September 9, 2011, in It's a All About me, by elisabet

Turning forty wasn’t so bad. We celebrated with family and friends, just the way I like it, everyone in one place. I really do have some awesome people around me. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

Courtney and I went to North Carolina to visit my sister and her family. We also spent a few days in my hometown, hanging out at the Apple Festival and visiting my mommy. There was lots of grits and biscuits eaten. I’ve been home for three days and I’m still not hungry! It was a good visit. I don’t talk much about it on here but it’s always hard to see my mommy. And now that she is seventy-one, with gray hair and in a wheelchair, it so much more difficult. You can barely understand her when she speaks because she has no teeth or dentures anymore. When I look into her eyes I catch little moments when I can see my mom in there, then I blink and she’s gone. I know she can’t articulate it but I get the sense that she is happy when we visit.

I had the rest of the week off from work. Kinda not looking forward to Monday. I haven’t checked in while on vacation and who knows what mess is waiting for me in my inbox. It’s going to take me a month just to catch up! I hate that. School is going well. History of Photography instructor is pissing me off already. It’s an online class and he wants active participation, meaning that he is actually grading us on our responses to other students posts. Which is fine but he has been a stickler for grammar and spelling, and I’m ok with that. What I’m not cool with is that it’s ok for him to make those mistakes. I’ve gotten a couple of emails where he omitted words and there is a misspelling in the syllabus! Seriously, if you’re going to ride my ass about that stuff, you need to follow your own rules dude!

It’s late and as you can tell I’ve been playing around with the blog design instead of sleeping. Courtney is going to be up in three hours and I should get some sleep. I’ve got a big morning planned, house chores and cleaning the garden. Good times!

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Lightbulb

On July 24, 2011, in It's a All About me, by elisabet

My therapist pointed something out to me in our last visit, my ability to mother extends far beyond my family. It made me think, maybe this is my path in life? My family and friends need me, not all the time but when they do, they really need my help. It makes sense. I’m about to do something for a friend and keeping it to myself has been the worst. It’s nothing terrible, but it is something that is completely unexpected. My friend will be totally surprised. And that where I find my greatest happiness, taking care of the ones I love most.

I met with an academic advisor this past week to map out my course load. I have fourteen more classes to finish before I even transfer to ASU where I will finish my Computer Science degree. CRIPES! I can really only take two, maybe three courses a semester which means that I will be fifty by the time I finish. It seems so daunting, so unattainable. But that’s OK because no one ever asks how long you’ve had your degree, they just want you to have one.

I do want to say that my heart goes out to the people of Norway.

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The summer of 40

On July 5, 2011, in It's a All About me, by elisabet

Where have I been? There is an easy answer to that question, I’ve been stuck in the chaos that is my life. School finished in early May, then work has just gone bonkers. It hasn’t been calm in the cube farm for weeks. I made a quick trip to Raleigh to take care of my sister after she broke her foot. It was nice to get away but after about two days with my sister I’m ready to leave. Home life has just been cruising along. I made a list of all the things I wanted to get done before school starts back up, so far I can only mark off one project. But the important thing is that I FINISHED one project! I really don’t like being this busy. It leaves me no time to do creative stuff like quilting and scrapbooking. I’m happy but I would be much happier if I could find time to sew or be crafty.

This whole being an adult thing really stinks sometimes. We have been working on some home improvement projects this year. We got the pool remodeled and the roof re-shingled. All things that I knew were needed but I could have had much more fun spending that cash on a new computer or a new couch. But this is what being a responsible adult is all about right? By getting these big ticket improvements done I am saving myself from future expenses which could have easily doubled. Ugh! I hated writing those checks. But now that summer is here I am so happy we got the pool done. It’s nice to come home to a sparkling clean blue pool after a long day at work. And with monsoon season starting I don’t have to worry about my roof blowing off.

The countdown is speeding to the big 4-0. I’m not normally the girl that stresses or makes a fuss over their birthday but dude this birthday is really freaking me out. I just thought my life would be different at this point. I thought my life would feel less like it did when I was in my twenties, it really hasn’t changed much. I thought I would have a house full of kids running around, that hasn’t happened. That’s probably the biggest shock for me. I really envisioned having kids, someone to leave my legacy to after I’m gone. I still haven’t completely warmed up to the reality that I will never have kids. The hopelessness is roughly 75% and then there is that 25% that believes it will happen. Everyone always asks if we have thought about adoption. I’ve thought about it but I really don’t think that is in our plan. It scares me. I hear stories all the time about how a couple patiently waits for their baby only to have it yanked away the moment the child is born because the birth parent changed their minds. I don’t think I could live through that. Fostering children would also be tough. I don’t think I could let the kids go back to their birth parents. This is why I don’t foster dogs. Can’t bear to part with them. So where does that leave us? Unless we magically win the lottery I don’t hear the pitter patter of little feet in our future. I think turning 40 is going to be a pretty big thing for me. Trying to put things into perspective and keeping myself moving forward is going to be a big challenge. Looks like I won’t be quitting my meds anytime soon.

It has been a horribly hot weekend. I could barely muster up any energy to get stuff done around the house. I can feel it now, it’s going to be a crazy work week. Meeting with the boss at 8am tomorrow. I’m off to bed.

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Rough start to the new year

On February 25, 2011, in It's a All About me, by elisabet

Man has it been a long time!

The holidays were great and very calm. It helped that Reilly was totally sick and barely moved off the couch, it made for a very peaceful Christmas day. Like many aunts and uncles we spoiled the twins and Maggie. I also hand made scarves and napkins for the rest of the family. Overall it was a great holiday.

Now time for the not so great news. Courtney’s Granny Fern passed away very suddenly in January. She had been here for a visit with the family and all was great. I actually thought she looked better than ever. The moment she got back to Taos she became very ill. Courtney’s aunt had been taking care of her and when she went to check on her, she had stopped breathing. She was rushed to the hospital, the docs found fluid in her lungs. They were able to get that under control but Granny never woke up.

We’re all pretty shaken up. I knew that she was going to need to leave us soon, I just wasn’t ready for it to be right then. I honestly felt that she would always be around. Granny was 92 years young and she lived a VERY full life. I am so grateful to have been a part of her life, she was more my Granny than my Nana. She saw the good in people and in life. I will miss her so much.

I just wanted to get that out. I’ll write more this evening.

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Remembering

On December 24, 2010, in It's a All About me, by elisabet

My first memory of Christmas was when I was four. I remember being so upset on Christmas eve with my Nana. She had brought over this jar that looked like Santa filled with peppermint candies and I was not allowed to open it. For like an hour it jar was on the coffee table, taunting me, calling me to open it. Finally I couldn’t take it, the tantrum started. No matter how many tears came streaming down, my Nana didn’t give in and let me open it. After dinner I could open it and I remember being so excited, so happy in that simple moment.

As I got older Christmas became less exciting. The hassle of shopping, fighting for a parking space at the mall, and not having money to spend, it just wears you down. I’m very much the type of person that prefers to give presents than to receive them. Seeing the people that I love happy, that’s my present, that’s all I need. This year we bought the kids presents and every one else is getting a handmade gift. Either I made it or I found someone locally to make it. I think my family is going to really enjoy the presents. Buying locally helps keep the money in my community and I like knowing that something I bought locally helps someone else to have a merry Christmas.

There was a great article in the AZ Republic about buying locally, 42% of what we spend at local businesses stays in the community compared to only 13% from a chain retailer. This is a huge passion for me. There is a movement happening, Shift Arizona, move 10% of your spending to local businesses and keep your money in your community. Its actually easy to do. I started small, only eating at local restaurants, then that moved on to other things. I discovered that my I could use my medical insurance to buy prescriptions at a local pharmacy, no more CVS! I may drive a few more miles and I give up 24/7 service but when I walk into that pharmacy, they know me by name and they take a extra few minutes to ask me how my day is going. And if I time things right I can pick up the doggies food next door at another local retailer. If I can’t make it to the pet store I can have the food delivered for FREE from another local business. I remember growing up and going to the butcher to get all of meats and getting veggies and fruit from the roadside stand. Trips to Winn-Dixie were minimal back then. Granted we don’t have roadside fruit stands but we have several amazing farmer’s markets. I still have times where I need to make a target or costco run but I would say that 70% of my spending is at local retailers. As we move into 2011 take a moment to think about where you spend your hard earned money and look for opportunities to buy those items at a local retailer. The impact of those small changes are huge!

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! Merry Christmas!

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